4 Days Remaining

So today, I made my plans official and will leave on Wednesday evening or Thursday morning to head up to Florida State Prison. I have decided that I will be outside with both supporters and protestors of the death penalty during Bobby’s execution. As I continually write Bobby’s name in such a familiar fashion, I wonder if people will think that I am personally connected with him…. it does feel weird to refer to someone in such a casual way while not being in a relationship of any kind - be it friendship or not.

Let me clear this up for anyone who pays any attention to my mental and emotional ramblings here… I in no way consider Bobby a friend nor am I viewing this process from anything other than a professional perspective. Am I personally invested in the research? Absolutely, I don’t think I could call myself a victimologist if I wasn’t it.

Then why do I so effortlessly refer to Florida Inmate # 494041 as Bobby? Because I realize that he is a person just like everyone else. This person just happens to be part man and part monster.

5 Days Remaining

Today I am focused on the victims and not on Bobby Joe Long. I have questions about what he is doing, thinking and feeling but now my thoughts turn to the surviving victim, Lisa McVey Noland and the other victims of rape, those who were murdered, their families, Bobby’s family and all of those this case has personally touched.

How are those people coping and getting through each day? Bobby’s legal team files one appeal after the other in hopes of earning him a stay. I understand their fight. I am sure most offenders would be doing the exact same thing….

But how does this affect the other players in this tragedy? Families who are ready to have Bobby meet his maker so they may finally have the justice they desire. I do not believe in “closure”. At least not in the sense that once he is no longer breathing, people will magically feel better.

I think closure is probably more of the opportunity to no longer live in flux every day…. reliving the fight of ensuring Bobby pays for what was done to their loved ones. Some families choose not to seek the death penalty because it would mean appearing at every hearing for a decade or more to speak on behalf of the victims who are no longer able to speak for themselves. Some can not cope with that and I do not blame them.

That was not the case with the victims and their families in this case. These brave individuals pushed through to ensure Bobby paid his debt in the only way he could…. legally. For there is no way one can HONESTLY make up for the loss and destruction he left in his path.

Yes, today my thoughts are with the family of those who have suffered… including Bobby’s.

6 Days Remaining

Checked the mail again…. again nothing

Checked with Bethany from the Pros and Cons Podcast… she hasn’t gotten anything either.

-frustrated but coming to terms with the fact that I may not hear anything from Bobby again. His execution is in less than a week and I am not sure what his daily life is like. Wrapping up loose ends such as time with family, clergy, legal issues concerning appeals. Paperwork that pertains to who gets his body and what he wants done with it.

I am starting to be less selfish as I realize now that time is short and speaking with me is truly not a priority for Bobby Joe Long. Treating him as I would any other person who is about to pass…. I am sure he has more important things to attend to than giving me the answers that a dozen others before me have tried and failed to get.

I still wonder what he is doing and thinking and feeling…. remorse? regret? fear?

7 Days Remaining

Today PCubed and I are recording another episode of the podcast. I am presenting Bobby’s case at CrimeCon in New Orleans in June. I am a victimologist and I want people to know the victims for more than being a victim. Sad thing which seems to be the norm for us…

very little information exists. And nothing positive. It is sad.

We are five victims in on this mini podcast season. I am hoping that we can find more information to talk about the women after Bobby is executed. PCubed and I will be requesting Bobby’s legal docs and if we find anything, we will definitely share it with you.

8 Days Remaining

I completely forgot to mention Vinnie’s emails because of course I got off track yesterday once I started to talk about Bobby.

No mail from Bobby today but I have had people who have some connection to him reach out to me. People want or need to talk and some just want to ask questions. Very interesting to see how connections are made. How small the world is. How many people one man can affect…. a couple of these individuals are very interesting and I look forward to working with them…. you know who you are.

So Vinnie…

One of the things I asked Vinnie last November what - “exactly why did you kill Gerard Schafer?”

I can’t believe it. Vinnie does not play games with me like Bobby. No prison porn. No requests for posed pictures. Just an answer and a statement that he is more than willing to speak with me. Ask away…

Guess what?

I was wrong in my guess of why he killed Schaefer. I wasn’t even close.

NOPE… not telling you yet.

I need time to ponder this and to get more answers. This will be something that I speak with PCubed about and I am sure we will add it as a supplement to the Murder and Mysteries with Massnick podcast.

9 Days Remaining

Ok, I know I said I would talk about the back to back emails I received from Vinnie the other day. Can’t believe it has taken me several days to actually have the time to look into them and then process what I think or feel about what he had to say.

My life is busy and hectic with a million opportunities and I would not have it any other way; however, my plate is a little OVER full at the moment. Sad that I just said to PCubed that in a little more than a week, things will lighten up some. Did I really just say, that once Bobby is executed my life will slow down? That is an absolutely reprehensible thing to say….

but I guess if we look at it from a purely professional viewpoint, without emotion - then I don’t sound like such an ass (or horrible person.)

AND Bobby is not responsible for my plate being so full, I am. Besides 8 pm, May 23rd will come and go and it just means that I move on to the next step in this process. What can I possibly have to do once Bobby is gone? What I truly care about…..

FOCUS ON THE VICTIMS

sadly there are so many to talk about