10 Days Remaining

Since yesterday was Mother’s Day, I didn’t focus on “work."

AND NO…. nothing in the mail from Bobby.

How annoying. I am not only trying to get answers to his case and see what he may say about his victims but I also want to know what life is like for him now that he has been moved from Union to Florida State Prison and is on suicide watch.

I know that his tablet was taken away. I am thinking about that one. Not that it matters to me one way or the other but why take it? Is it because he can use it to harm himself? He does not have access to the outside world other than on JPay and his music/book app. Not like he is able to see what the media or public is saying about him.

Honestly, I don’t think Bobby would harm himself. I think he is too self-absorbed for that and maybe not “strong” enough for that. I do not mean that lightly. I can’t think of a better way to say that, that doesn’t come across like an academic. What I mean, is that Bobby has a pattern of avoiding situations that might cause him pain or harm or …. mmm a situation where he is not the one in control.

If you listen to our podcast, then you heard the story of the home invasion where his parents were tied up and robbed. Bobby hid in his bedroom the entire time.

Fast forward to this month and Bobby refuses to make the 2 hour and 45 minute drive from Raiford to Tampa for his court hearing. Why? Because being bound and shackled would be tantamount to torture.

These may not be scientific reasons or validation that he would never hurt himself but I think he enjoys playing games with others entirely too much to give up the game early. Remember these are my thoughts and ramblings at a specific moment. I may and probably will change my mind a thousand times within the next week and a half.

This is just a weird, messed up situation that I have put myself in. I love to explore and figure things out but when you know that finding the light at the end of the tunnel probably will not happen…. I go from wanting to pick at him all the harder, to asking why I continue to write him and play the game.

Won’t matter for much longer.

11 Days Remaining

I can’t help but laugh. I can’t get one inmate to write me … the one who has a little issue with the amount of time left to write and then I have another who has less patience than I claim to have?!?! I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be more impatient…

Email from Vinnie at 3:24 pm

wait for it

wait for it

Email from Vinnie at 5:40 pm

He wrote a lot in both emails. I am a little confused about some of what he says. He is talking about “get back on the streets.” Based on what I have read from his inmate sheet, I don’t see how he could ever find himself on the outside.

I will have to reread the emails and then do some digging.

Since I haven’t gotten mail from Bobby is a few days, I have the time.

12 Days Remaining

I have decided that I want to go to Florida State Prison on the 23rd regardless…. of being inside or out.

I was speaking with my Dean, explaining how this execution could be an educational tool for our criminal justice students. One of the courses I teach is Corrections and Penology. We discuss the entire process which includes the punishment, the death penalty.

I have met people who are in the middle of the road and see the selective (case by case) use of the death penalty as well as those who are opposed regardless of the crime and others who are so pro that they think they would be willing to implement the shock, drugs or whatever themselves.

I think recording this event from outside the prison walls, interviewing people on both sides of the debate as well as the people who live near the prison would bring a little reality to my classroom lectures. I, myself have never explored this other than in a text book and if you know me then you know that I am not that kind of professor. If I am to impart knowledge then I should continue to gain knowledge.

So, I have booked my hotel and will stay just outside of Raiford for a day or two. “Cheers” to caring enough to advance my own education and to be willing to become a better professor than I was the day before.

13 Days Remaining

Haven’t heard anything from Bobby and trying not to worry or obsess about it. Does it annoy me? Absolutely. Why? If for no other reason, I am used to getting what I want. That does not mean that things come easily. It simply means that I am willing to work, push, pull and plow through in order to get something… and right now I want answers and if it was just for me then I would just be annoyed and take what may come.

BUT…..

This isn’t about me. This is me wanting to be able to educate people about Bobby and hopefully get some piece of information about the victims that we haven’t heard. Something that lets us get to know them on a personal level, not just what happened on their last day on Earth.

When these last two weeks have passed, I will spend time trying to get those anecdotes from family and friends. One thing you should know about me is that even if I there is something I want…. I will not go after it to the detriment of others. If family does not want to interact with us because it is painful or maybe they have had bad experiences with others before me…. I will not push AND I have never had to. I think people respect the place I come from and THEY have reached out the ME.

I am thankful for that! <3

14 Days Remaining

They say time flies well I can say that I have never been more away of the truth to that statement than I am right now. On one hand it seems a lifetime ago that Bobby’s execution warrant was signed. On the other hand that execution is now only 14 days away. That seems like it is not around the corner but more like I am about to fall over it…. I wonder how this feels like Bobby. Even more importantly, I wonder how the people Bobby victimized feel.

I am speaking with someone who has a potential connection with Bobby. I am not ready to discuss that and not sure if I ever will be. This just makes this story all the more heartbreaking when you realize how many people have been affected. How many are counting down the days with me? How many are going to be happy when 8:pm on May 23, 2019 is finally here. And how many are going to feel something that can’t be explained.

Many people believe in the death penalty and many others do not. Some state that it is a form of closure which allows people to “move on.” I don’t like those stereotypical comments because I don’t believe that it is that easy. Just because Bobby will no longer breathe doesn’t mean that someone else will magically breathe easier.

Whatever the victim’s and families need, I hope that the are finally able to work towards that with Bobby’s execution. Even if it means, they just want retribution then I am ok with that. I appreciate and understand nothing better than honesty.

My fear is that once Bobby is gone so is the person that so many have hated for so long. Once there is no one to hate what emotion will fill that void?

15 Days Remaining

When it rains it pours….

First thing this morning my JPay app sends a notification. Woo Hoo…. mail from Bobby. Ugh, no, I got another email from Vincent who wants to be called Vinnie. Forgot to mention that he attached a prison webcam photo of himself last week. The one thing that struck me was that he still looks like the young man who went to prison almost three decades ago; however, he has most definitely aged.

Nothing from Bobby but I am not going to worry about that. Yeah, right. If you know me then you know that I have the patience of a gnat. I will continue to obsessively check the mailbox in hopes that a letter magically appears and holds the answers to the last questions that I asked. I may be impatient but I am not stupid so I am not holding my breath.

The good news from Vinnie, he is more than willing to talk to me and with me about Gerard Schaefer. Gerard’s case looks like it won’t be going away anytime soon for me.

Interesting……