22 Days Remain

Today was so busy that I didn’t have much time to ponder what was or wasn’t going on with Bobby. I admit that I did mention/complain about it in passing to my the whole MCubed posse. Everyone is supportive of this process and wondering if I will get the opportunity to see Bobby before his execution. Will he still be interested in having me attend? If so, will I decide to go or not? I have no idea.

I appreciate the sounding board that my friends and peers are providing. This is definitely a strange position to be in. Some people are voicing their opinions without having been asked for them and some of those people are direct, blunt and actually rude. Others are concerned or have questions.

Let’s get real about this. Why would anyone (aside from a victim) want to see someone executed? I would like to think that no one is excited about seeing someone die. Even if the person is a monster, I hope (victims not included) that no one would celebrate or be “happy” about this.

If someone was too excited… too willing…. too happy….

What does that say about them? I will tell you what it says to me…. nothing because I choose not to judge them the same as I would hope others would not judge me or my choice in this matter.

If given the opportunity to see an execution would I go? I am still asking myself that question but I think my answer will probably be yes. Why? Because I am an educator. Because I have my own opinion (that I am not sharing at this time) of what I think and feel about the death penalty. Because I teach on a subject where very few people can actually be considered a “subject matter expert.” I do NOT want to ever become an expert in this area. I think I have too many emotions, am sympathetic and empathetic and that witnessing more than one time might cause me unnecessary trauma or stress.

What I do think can be gained from a singular experience? A better understanding of the actual event itself. Not only what the inmate goes through from the time he or she is brought into the death house but also what the witnesses (state, defense, victims and family) behaviors are at the time as well as visible emotions. I think this will allow me to speak on the subject from an educated, not a textbook, place.

Will I be affected. ABSOLUTELY….

Regardless of my opportunities and choices, I hope that I am offered respect if not understanding of the choices I make. People do not have to understand or agree with them but respecting them would be not only professional but nice.

23 Days Remain

Really busy right now. End of the semester. Commencement is this week. Family coming into town soon…. and oh yeah, I have a family, three dogs and am trying to build a house. Oh wait, I almost forgot True Crime and a Glass of Wine is next week at the Blue Door - need to work on that presentation. AND CrimeCon is coming fast and furious and my presentation is based on Bobby… we changed our original concept when Bobby’s execution was set.

I do NOT have time to waste chasing down a death row inmate. For Pete’s sake….

I did reach out to Larry and he said that Bobby would have been moved from Union over to Florida State Prison once the warrant was signed. Snail mail would be delayed a little just because it has to get sent from one prison over to the other. I told Larry that I don’t send snail mail. I use JPay email for all of my communication. He wasn’t sure but said that Bobby’s tablet was probably taken away once he was put on death watch.

I am thankful for Larry’s experience and guidance. His explanation makes sense. He gave me some contact information so that I could see exactly what was going on and figure out how to proceed.

A week has passed already…..

24 Days Remain

Ok, a little more calm today but still not thrilled. Bethany did get a snail mail letter from Bobby but it was dated almost a week ago. He knew the warrant was signed but it had not been announced to the public yet. I was glad that she had heard from him.

In a weird way, the fact that she has not heard anything since reassured me that it wasn’t “just me” that he was not communicating with. I had started to wonder if maybe he had cut me off. He had said in the past that people who paid attention to him where the ones that he devoted the most time too. I had not only been slow with communication at times but I also NEVER gave in to any of his requests. I didn’t answer the graphic questions he asked and most definitely never sent him the provocative photos ( being very polite with my wording) that he asked for over and over.

Maybe I should ask Larry what protocol is for death row inmates at this point…..

For those of you who don’t know who Larry is… listen to the podcast. Larry Peoples, Sr. is the father of a friend. Larry spent his career as a correctional officer and we interviewed him specifically about his time working with death row inmates and regarding executions.

Who better to guide me through this process than Larry? Fingers crossed he can advise me.

25 Days Remain

I am annoyed and frustrated. I have not heard anything back from Bobby. I know this sounds strange and selfish. I am not the one on death row. I am not the one about to die yet here I am thinking about myself.

I am feeling the pressure of time passing and there is nothing I can do about it. In the past I have been so busy that I had taken the attitude that I would return his email when I could get around to it and here I am almost aggravated with him that his is not sending anything back. AND THAT IS NOT LIKE HIM!?!?

If I don’t hear something tomorrow I will reach out to someone. My friend Bethany of the Pros and Cons Podcast is also communicating with Bobby. That is one weird story…. two friends talking with the same serial killer. Funny thing, we were both talking with him before the other one knew about it. I wonder if she has heard from him since the warrant was signed?

Procrastinating is what got me here in the first place. Not waiting till tomorrow to ask. I am texting her now!

26 Days Remain

So I sent Bobby another email and with no response from him yet, I decided to not pepper him with a million questions. Trying the polite conversation tactic for now. I told him that I was sitting outside at a coffee shop writing him. It really is a beautiful day. I told him that and wondered if that would come across like a really “jerky” thing to say since he obviously isn’t going to be enjoying the Florida sunshine.

I decided to try and appeal to his love of the Florida Keys and his time there when he was young. I mentioned that the weather was such that it would remind of him of those times. He has often mentioned that the Keys are his favorite place in the world.

What else am I supposed to say to a man that is going to be executed in less than four weeks? I asked questions in yesterday’s email and since I have not heard back…. do I just keep grilling him??? It isn’t like this experience was anything I prepared for or even discussed in grad school. This is uncharted territory… at least for me.

I do feel a sense of urgency. Time is passing quickly and I have questions. I want to get any and all of the information that I can. Why and for what purpose? I don’t know. I just know that I am motivated by the victims. It always comes back to the victims. They deserve answers…. no, they will never get an answer good enough to justify, explain or even help anyone to understand why they experienced what they did.

They deserve to be honored for the people that they are or were. They need to be remembered as people and not as victims. They are more than victims of Bobby Joe Long. That is why I will continue with this process; however, it plays out.

27 Days Remain

I just sat down to write Bobby an email. It was difficult to decide what to say. I want answers just like everyone else. What is he thinking and feeling? Is he afraid? Will he be willing to drop the psychological chess game and just get real? Does he have any feelings about what he did to so many women? He has never expressed remorse but is there even just an inkling of it…. even if it is just for the situation that he now finds himself in? Maybe the monster is all there is and he is mad that he got caught….

I really don’t know but I know that if I could sit there and talk to him face to face I would have to control myself from firing questions at him one after the other. I haven’t heard from him since the execution warrant was signed. Wonder what is going on?