Focus and Organization - I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached

It was only a few days ago when I last blogged and I made a list of the things I was going to check off of my list first. Some of it was “low hanging fruit” as we say since it had already been started. I can’t believe that I didn’t mention the biggest, already in the works, starting the next day project?!?! My partner, PCubed I’m sure can, as I have so many things that I and “WE” need to get accomplished.

SO here is my big announcement - the podcast, Murder and Mysteries with Massnick has already been back in the study and will start dropping new episodes tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow - Monday the 12th of April! This is going to be a bit challenging but nothing we can’t handle. We are going to be recording and dropping two different and completely distinct “seasons” at the same time. Don’t ask me how. That is the “eye rollers” decision.

So I can only give you a few hints as to where we are going with this concept. The first season, will be our typical length as it is specifically tied to a presentation that we are giving but the second one which we hope you find educational, fascinating and humbling is going to take us on a long journey….. months!

Both will discuss the perpetrators, the crime or multiple crimes and of course most importantly the victims. The lengthy season will introduce you to those who where there. You will hear stories you have never heard. Learn about heroes that have never been mentioned and see how one man ensures the victims and heroes are spoken of and remembered.

This is new for the Murders and Mysteries with Massnick podcast. Two seasons, historical crimes and showing you the support that we have been given by our college, Indian River State College to not only take on these topics but to share it with you and the rest of the world.

So get ready because………WE ARE BACK!!!!

Dr. M and PCubed

OK, I have Peace and my Creativity back so now what?!?!?

So now what? Well last night I am pretty sure I flipped my husband out when I told him as we had agreed upon last fall, that I truly wanted to go back to school. He was all in until I tossed out the cost of the two year Masters degree I want when I already have two plus my PhD…..that broken blood vessel in his eye that showed up late last night might, just might, be my fault BUT then again I am NOT the kind of doctor!

I have a million projects that I have either half completed or half designed within my head. I have been blessed with the love of learning, the gift of being able to accomplish goals and knowing when to stay in my own lane. Please oh please, why can’t people stay in their own lane? It really isn’t that difficult.

I was shown the effort of hard work at a young age. The importance of meeting the right people. How to speak and when, how to dress and when and thank God manners! So, I have taken some time off from using all of these skills, trying new things and redefining the shape of the “box” we are supposed to stay in. I am pretty sure my high school geometry teacher would fail me on my idea of the “box.”

So, here is what I think I am going to accomplish within the next six month and in no particular order, except for those things that have time restraints on them….. such as a national presentation. You know, those pesky little timeframe things. Wow, I just realized how much I don’t like boundaries and restrictions, no wonder I am not the best at setting or following them. Ah, but that is a new skill being worked on this year along with that self-care and making time for adventure.

1) National presentation - which still involves research, building the presentation, order new shirts and fun things to give away and lots of reading! This is a priority because of that pesky calendar.

2) Finishing the book that I started….well I have several but there is one that I am currently passionate about and that one I am setting my own timeframe on which is no later than the end of summer to see have it published. I have another one I was working with a publisher on but its a totally different type of book. You guys will get to see exactly have diverse I am or how much of a butterfly I am, which is what my husband and long term friends and family have always called me.

3) Organize the thousands of pictures I have taken. Another book? Another website? Or just share them as the urge hits me? We shall see.

4) An important friend just gave me a chat that going back to school is not beneficial for me and that research or working with a think tank is where I should be adding to my career now. My husband with love and thank her. And I must say I am intrigued to hear more of what she has to say.

5) And just for me and just for fun. Travel…. I have several locations on the table. Just kind of depends on what is going on in the world when I have the time to escape.

Well, that is all I have to say for now. Not really because we all know I talk and talk and talk….. so how about talk again soon!

Dr. M

Just Stopping By to Remind You to Enjoy Life

Today I had planned to get about a half a million things done. That darn OLD me must have reared it’s head because I thought getting these things accomplished would make me happy if for no other reason than I would stop worrying about needing to get grades done, lesson plans ready for the week, the back gardens weeded (I think my yard is starting to look like an arboretum….lol), clothes and linens washed and put away and so on and so on and so on.

BUT the NEW me who just yesterday told you about finding my peace, realized that as soon as those chores would be done then I would need to finish my taxes, finish my son’s taxes, bathe 3 insanely cute but refuse to stand still puppies; and whatever else there is.

My point, not me nor anyone else will ever be DONE with our chores. This illusion I had would not make me happy NOR bring me that PEACE I found and want to keep. What WOULD make me happy? Getting some of the items on my list done that were actual necessities, spending time laughing with my family, watching my granddaughter attempt those first steps (for me) towards me and then snuggling up with this pretty handsome man and taking an hour nap. I didn’t fall asleep but the rest was pretty darn nice.

The message for myself, and I am sharing it with you is to take time to do the things that NEED to get done but remember to take CARE OF YOURSELF as well. Breathe, smell the flowers that you were going to weed, chase a butterfly or two around the yard and just be happy in whatever way you choose. What was interesting and I just realized this, I am spending more time with one my dogs who has lived a long and crazy life. As she nestled against me on the couch and she slept, I managed to work on two projects that needed some attention. I hadn’t intended on working but it wasn’t work when I was more focused on making sure every second she has left, she is happy.

Maybe your day isn’t over so go do something you enjoy. Maybe you haven’t thought about tomorrow so make plans to talk with a friend. Get some work done but most of all practice SELF-CARE and do something for yourself.

Enjoy your weekend!

Dr. M

Reclaiming my Creativity and Finding My Peace

Just as most people will tell you, this pandemic has changed them. It may have been for the better by causing them to slow down and take care of themselves (slightly guilty) or maybe for the worse (guilty until recently.) I am an extreme extrovert, love to be busy, I am outside exploring something everyday and meeting and talking with anyone who has a story to tell. That part of my life got cut WAY back with this pandemic and I fought it. Why fight it….. because of course I wanted what I wanted! Have you learned nothing about me yet over these years?

Covid and the ever changing rules not only made me take Wine and Crime Virtual, it stopped guest lectures, prevented travel and forced me to teach more “inside the box” than I like or am used to AND my students had to adjust to me NOT being me as well.

Well those days are in the rear view mirror. Whether people are getting shots, feeling more comfortable and less anxious or have found ways to cope with this new world. I am NOT going back to being the OLD me but am moving on to be a BETTER me.

If you knew the OLD me then you know that I was a very empathetic person, put others first, was quite often misunderstood for things I would so or do and was so sensitive. Except when it would come to dealing with criminals of the worst kind. That I owned.

I still care about others but I am know learning self-care comes first. I am working on being more sympathetic than empathetic and those feelings that got hurt so easily….. those days are gone. All of this seemed to have come full circle within the last week. Honestly, this past year has been part of the lesson but as educated as I am, this lesson took a little longer to learn.

Last week, I went on my first real NON-WORKING vacation in more than a decade. I told very few people about it because I have learned that sometimes or actually most of the time keeping things to yourself causes less issues and misunderstands. Look at me finally becoming a grown-up!

I went to Sedona, AZ. A place I have never been but has been on my bucket-list for years. I went on my own and then met an old and very dear college friend out there who pretty much felt the same way as I did. We hiked, ate amazing food that was local and fresh. Watched NO tv or real radio even. We just talked and explored.

Serial killer, ehhh but heights oh heck no and snakes uhhh no! But on this trip I asked myself why? Why be afraid of the unknown and hold myself back from the amazing things out in this giant world. My whole life changed on one climb where my friend and I took different paths in the same canyon. Why? Because we had different issues and things we wanted to accomplish.

This girl who loves to dress up, wear heels that are super high (I come from a very short family so trust me you would be as tall as possible too! lol!) I am sure I will hear about that one and maintains her manicure and pedicure chose to climb a mountain by going off of the trail. Honestly, I didn’t see one or maybe I wasn’t meant to see it but I was going up that damn mountain to prove something to myself and no one else.

The mountain is roughly 5900 ft in elevation and within less than 100 ft from the top and with no trail, I hit this completely smooth wall with no real way to continue and the rattle that I heard or imagined kept my common sense in check. I was able to sit on this little ledge and record a video to my boss, my students, my husband and of course my son and his family. The OLD me would have seen NOT making it to the top as a failure but the NEW me looked at where I was and was never more amazed and proud of myself in my life. In that moment, I realized that could stop chasing so many things and just enjoy life. Do those crazy things IF I WANT to but not because I NEEDED to prove something to someone or anyone. I found my PEACE.

With that I also FOUND a professor, speaker, podcaster, writer and general fun person who IS ready to get back on the horse and have more fun doing things with and for myself, my family and my students than ever before.

Message to my students: You are amazing. You make my job NOT a job but something I LOVE trying to push boundaries for both me and you. Thank you for letting me go on this journey with you and realize that you can do anything!!!!! Just ask me and I will tell you - unless we hear a rattle!

Good luck to you all. Thank you for choosing IRSC as your academic home and I can’t wait to watch you climb and conquer your own mountain.

Dr. M

COVID has slowed me down enough....back to work

So many things have happened within our county this past year ~ No socializing, some people couldn’t/can’t go to work, businesses have been lost and so on and so on……. I count myself amongst the most lucky that I have not gotten sick and have been able to work the entire time.

It has changed my life in selfish ways. I am used to being super busy and am not happy unless I am in the middle of a dozen or more things. There have been no seminars, no travel, no face to face True Crime and a Glass of Wine events, and very few of us, any of us, have celebrated a major holiday in the manner we are accustomed.

Well, I am done with that since it looks like this pandemic may be around a bit longer. I am back to writing which will make some publisher very happy. Our podcast is about to take on an entirely new and extremely in depth new season…. new episode with updates happens this Monday. Film studios are opening back up so I have just completed six episodes for a new show and am in negotiations with a producer on a special event. ALL WILL BE DONE SAFELY AND SOCIALLY DISTANCED AS EACH LOCATION REQUIRES!

Now my REAL job….that college professor thing that I do and love more than anything. Well, I am going to shake that up too. Our Administration has given me the green light to dream big….and then go bigger! That even terrifies myself….lol The Institute for Cold Case Investigations is back up and running and working on some promising leads. The students are engaged and learning more and more about how criminal justice works in the REAL world NOT just in the classroom. That is how my ENTIRE department feels about teaching and I couldn’t ask for a better team to be a part of.

As I have not written and updated you in forever, I could go on and on but instead I think I will try to be more diligent in keeping you current and leave you intrigued for now.

Hope you are all staying safe, be well and don’t forget to enjoy life!

Dr. M

January 2, 2021

I want to tell everyone how thankful I am for each and every one of you. Those of you who have complained about “nothing” but felt like making sure we heard you talk….. I am thankful you taught me to speak and complain less. Let’s rephrase that… my friends and family thank you and want to know how in the world you accomplished what they have never been able to do.

For those who were bummed that traditions were not kept, shopping did not get down and why we are hearing fireworks on Christmas instead of the 4th of July. WHO CARES…. thank you for making my dogs bark, having me hold them, hide them and drug them…. that was part of making my life normal!!! (In July anyway.)

There is absolutely no way I can thank everyone on Earth, ETHEREAL and in my heart for all that you do and did for me this past year. What have I have learned this year? Well (sort of) patience, not to expect people to text or call back, that I can free dive with sharks and not cry like a baby or get eaten like a wuss. OHhhhh, and you can stop worrying about how I have gotten in shape. I did the happy, healthy, doctor approved way and love the routine I will now continue for life. I will cycle race you up any mountain, anyone except Heather! I will NEVER cycle anywhere with Heather! lol

For those who needed or I wanted to know…. I got to ring the bell last week. Look out for when I am back at 100%… keep up and enjoy life. Every day and every thing is a gift. LAUGH…. don’t forget to laugh!

You want to laugh? I told my friend MaryAnn about ringing the bell and that I got a random email from a serial killer. She was thrilled about the bell and I was thrilled about the email?!?! One of us is nuts but we are both special!

Tomorrow I think I will record a single podcast episode and just have fun BEFORE we get down to the business of giving victims’ their due, looking for those who are missing, ripping into cold cases and trying to get the general public to be more aware of their surroundings.

I take my job seriously but nothing thrills me more than annoying my co-host P-Cubed and having him deny me or roll his eyes. And I definitely can’t wait to get Larry, my favorite unicorn back on the air. Larry, I miss you tons and hope to see you soon.

Keep your peepers open for a new show on Oxygen, probably in March, (I will give you the name later) that will have yours truly in six episodes. Talking with publishers about a book. Working with Katie to take a few years or a decade off of my face….you got this Katie! lol

My REAL job has the potential to be amazing this year, so cross your fingers.

Not going to say much more because my life is amazingly insane, challenging and absolutely a dream come true at this time. So I guess I will just have to keep you up to date on here. Love you and love me….

~Kimberlie