Reclaiming my Creativity and Finding My Peace

Just as most people will tell you, this pandemic has changed them. It may have been for the better by causing them to slow down and take care of themselves (slightly guilty) or maybe for the worse (guilty until recently.) I am an extreme extrovert, love to be busy, I am outside exploring something everyday and meeting and talking with anyone who has a story to tell. That part of my life got cut WAY back with this pandemic and I fought it. Why fight it….. because of course I wanted what I wanted! Have you learned nothing about me yet over these years?

Covid and the ever changing rules not only made me take Wine and Crime Virtual, it stopped guest lectures, prevented travel and forced me to teach more “inside the box” than I like or am used to AND my students had to adjust to me NOT being me as well.

Well those days are in the rear view mirror. Whether people are getting shots, feeling more comfortable and less anxious or have found ways to cope with this new world. I am NOT going back to being the OLD me but am moving on to be a BETTER me.

If you knew the OLD me then you know that I was a very empathetic person, put others first, was quite often misunderstood for things I would so or do and was so sensitive. Except when it would come to dealing with criminals of the worst kind. That I owned.

I still care about others but I am know learning self-care comes first. I am working on being more sympathetic than empathetic and those feelings that got hurt so easily….. those days are gone. All of this seemed to have come full circle within the last week. Honestly, this past year has been part of the lesson but as educated as I am, this lesson took a little longer to learn.

Last week, I went on my first real NON-WORKING vacation in more than a decade. I told very few people about it because I have learned that sometimes or actually most of the time keeping things to yourself causes less issues and misunderstands. Look at me finally becoming a grown-up!

I went to Sedona, AZ. A place I have never been but has been on my bucket-list for years. I went on my own and then met an old and very dear college friend out there who pretty much felt the same way as I did. We hiked, ate amazing food that was local and fresh. Watched NO tv or real radio even. We just talked and explored.

Serial killer, ehhh but heights oh heck no and snakes uhhh no! But on this trip I asked myself why? Why be afraid of the unknown and hold myself back from the amazing things out in this giant world. My whole life changed on one climb where my friend and I took different paths in the same canyon. Why? Because we had different issues and things we wanted to accomplish.

This girl who loves to dress up, wear heels that are super high (I come from a very short family so trust me you would be as tall as possible too! lol!) I am sure I will hear about that one and maintains her manicure and pedicure chose to climb a mountain by going off of the trail. Honestly, I didn’t see one or maybe I wasn’t meant to see it but I was going up that damn mountain to prove something to myself and no one else.

The mountain is roughly 5900 ft in elevation and within less than 100 ft from the top and with no trail, I hit this completely smooth wall with no real way to continue and the rattle that I heard or imagined kept my common sense in check. I was able to sit on this little ledge and record a video to my boss, my students, my husband and of course my son and his family. The OLD me would have seen NOT making it to the top as a failure but the NEW me looked at where I was and was never more amazed and proud of myself in my life. In that moment, I realized that could stop chasing so many things and just enjoy life. Do those crazy things IF I WANT to but not because I NEEDED to prove something to someone or anyone. I found my PEACE.

With that I also FOUND a professor, speaker, podcaster, writer and general fun person who IS ready to get back on the horse and have more fun doing things with and for myself, my family and my students than ever before.

Message to my students: You are amazing. You make my job NOT a job but something I LOVE trying to push boundaries for both me and you. Thank you for letting me go on this journey with you and realize that you can do anything!!!!! Just ask me and I will tell you - unless we hear a rattle!

Good luck to you all. Thank you for choosing IRSC as your academic home and I can’t wait to watch you climb and conquer your own mountain.

Dr. M

COVID has slowed me down enough....back to work

So many things have happened within our county this past year ~ No socializing, some people couldn’t/can’t go to work, businesses have been lost and so on and so on……. I count myself amongst the most lucky that I have not gotten sick and have been able to work the entire time.

It has changed my life in selfish ways. I am used to being super busy and am not happy unless I am in the middle of a dozen or more things. There have been no seminars, no travel, no face to face True Crime and a Glass of Wine events, and very few of us, any of us, have celebrated a major holiday in the manner we are accustomed.

Well, I am done with that since it looks like this pandemic may be around a bit longer. I am back to writing which will make some publisher very happy. Our podcast is about to take on an entirely new and extremely in depth new season…. new episode with updates happens this Monday. Film studios are opening back up so I have just completed six episodes for a new show and am in negotiations with a producer on a special event. ALL WILL BE DONE SAFELY AND SOCIALLY DISTANCED AS EACH LOCATION REQUIRES!

Now my REAL job….that college professor thing that I do and love more than anything. Well, I am going to shake that up too. Our Administration has given me the green light to dream big….and then go bigger! That even terrifies myself….lol The Institute for Cold Case Investigations is back up and running and working on some promising leads. The students are engaged and learning more and more about how criminal justice works in the REAL world NOT just in the classroom. That is how my ENTIRE department feels about teaching and I couldn’t ask for a better team to be a part of.

As I have not written and updated you in forever, I could go on and on but instead I think I will try to be more diligent in keeping you current and leave you intrigued for now.

Hope you are all staying safe, be well and don’t forget to enjoy life!

Dr. M

January 2, 2021

I want to tell everyone how thankful I am for each and every one of you. Those of you who have complained about “nothing” but felt like making sure we heard you talk….. I am thankful you taught me to speak and complain less. Let’s rephrase that… my friends and family thank you and want to know how in the world you accomplished what they have never been able to do.

For those who were bummed that traditions were not kept, shopping did not get down and why we are hearing fireworks on Christmas instead of the 4th of July. WHO CARES…. thank you for making my dogs bark, having me hold them, hide them and drug them…. that was part of making my life normal!!! (In July anyway.)

There is absolutely no way I can thank everyone on Earth, ETHEREAL and in my heart for all that you do and did for me this past year. What have I have learned this year? Well (sort of) patience, not to expect people to text or call back, that I can free dive with sharks and not cry like a baby or get eaten like a wuss. OHhhhh, and you can stop worrying about how I have gotten in shape. I did the happy, healthy, doctor approved way and love the routine I will now continue for life. I will cycle race you up any mountain, anyone except Heather! I will NEVER cycle anywhere with Heather! lol

For those who needed or I wanted to know…. I got to ring the bell last week. Look out for when I am back at 100%… keep up and enjoy life. Every day and every thing is a gift. LAUGH…. don’t forget to laugh!

You want to laugh? I told my friend MaryAnn about ringing the bell and that I got a random email from a serial killer. She was thrilled about the bell and I was thrilled about the email?!?! One of us is nuts but we are both special!

Tomorrow I think I will record a single podcast episode and just have fun BEFORE we get down to the business of giving victims’ their due, looking for those who are missing, ripping into cold cases and trying to get the general public to be more aware of their surroundings.

I take my job seriously but nothing thrills me more than annoying my co-host P-Cubed and having him deny me or roll his eyes. And I definitely can’t wait to get Larry, my favorite unicorn back on the air. Larry, I miss you tons and hope to see you soon.

Keep your peepers open for a new show on Oxygen, probably in March, (I will give you the name later) that will have yours truly in six episodes. Talking with publishers about a book. Working with Katie to take a few years or a decade off of my face….you got this Katie! lol

My REAL job has the potential to be amazing this year, so cross your fingers.

Not going to say much more because my life is amazingly insane, challenging and absolutely a dream come true at this time. So I guess I will just have to keep you up to date on here. Love you and love me….

~Kimberlie

One Insane Week

This has been one of the weirdest, most enlightening, fun yet challenging weeks, I think I have ever experienced in my life. First last Friday evening, (9-11-) I ran into a man that I speak to almost weekly when I go out to dinner. I knew he was a firefighter who worked the Towers on 9-11. He told me some very passionate, sad and heroic tales. Well this past Friday he came in and he looked really tired and I asked him what was up. I was not prepared for him to tell me that he had just gotten back home from NYC, where he had attended THE 9-11 Memorial Tribute. I was shocked and wasn’t sure what to say to this hero before me that I have known as “just a regular” guy. So, I hugged him. Said I was sorry for what he went through and then thanked him. What a humbling experience.

I managed to make it in time to see the sun rise TWICE this week. I used to make it much more often but somehow I let everyday life get so busy that I have missed out on this most precious gift of the start of the day. I have; however, made it to the second most amazing part to the start of the workday. I get to hear revelry and see the raising of colors. I consider this an honor and wish more people had this opportunity.

The most exciting thing, a podcast I did was released this week. The pilot episode of Anything You Say, turned out to the point I was very very happy with. I also received an email from the Executive Producer who forwarded and email from the investigators of the Chris Watts case and thanked me for my analyzation and interpretation of their behavior. They may reach out to me and I hope they do. I want to thank them for validating me and what I do…..my first thought? How can I get them to Zoom with my Spring Semester students for Criminal Investigations….lol Always thinking…..love my professor job and the tweaks I can bring to it that add to my students’ educational experience.

Went out for date night last night and realized that I would rather be locked up, on my own with a prison full of inmates than hang out with a couple of girls. Geez, now they can reek much more havoc than inmates. You may be able to wear that dress but aren’t you a little old for it?!?! LOL like seriously?!? At first I was hurt. Then I was annoyed, followed by mad and then I found it funny. Jealousy doesn’t look good on anyone.

ICCI, my cold case institute made a lot of progress this week. I am beyond excited with them.

This was one roller coaster of a week and I am looking forward to the next one.

Dr. M

Podcast Antics with my College Bestie

This week’s episode is more like a long chat with an old friend you haven’t seen in forever. If you have participated in any of our True Crime and a Glass of Wine virtual events, then you have already met Kerri Lynne Black. If you haven’t met her yet just imagine a tall, red-headed Irish New Yorker…. she will make you laugh till you cry and then be just as quick to tell you what she thinks of you. She can kill you either way…. that’s why I love her. Not to mention when I go to visit, she takes me on tours on iconic crime scenes and vineyards!

PCubed created this concept for the podcast that lets the listener control the topic. People think things don’t happen in “my backyard.” Well we gave you the challenge to look and see what HAS happened in your own backyard and you guys are delivering.

Did I say Kerri lives on Long Island? She definitely had her pick of topics for our crazy fun but informative discussion. So who did she choose? The guy just down the street, Joel Rifkin!

Thanks PCubed for this weird way to host this series! Just so everyone knows PCubed will be back on air soon and he at some point will be hosting his own “Hometown Murder.” His episode topic is famous and changed everything…..

Dr. M

I AM Back!

Not sure that I told you guys that in addition to my teaching and all of the other professional stuff I am into, that I realized that I haven’t done much of the “cool” stuff in the world. So I have set out on a mission to do at least one thing a month that is outside of the box for me. By this, I mean getting over a fear, see or doing something that I have always wanted to do or just get out there to see what the world has to offer to entertain, teach or just blow my mind!

You will be happy to know that I survived yesterday’s adventure. My friend, Ashleigh and I went cage swimming with sharks…..cage free, I might add! Don’t ask me how many sharks or what kind I saw or anything like that because I plan on doing this trip again. Did you know that sharks migrate; therefore, you get the opportunity to see different one through out the year???

I have always and will always love the ocean but it looks and feels a lot different when you slide into the water, whether it be at 20 feet or 800 feet. Either way, you CAN NOT touch the bottom..lol or see what is between you and the ocean floor most of the time. BUT man is it the most beautiful and amazing experience. What was shocking to me was the I was the first one other than the pro’s to get into the water on the first drop. I felt NO fear, nothing but wonder and excitement. What an awesome experience.

I have a few other adventures planned that I may or may not share. I think part of the fun is knowing you do it. “Have fun, hurt and tell no one.” JM

Someone just asked me how I dealt with knowing there would be a bunch of sharks in the water with me. I said easy: I just imagine them to be a bunch of little serial killers and I know how to handle myself in that situation, so I’ve got this!

Have an awesome Sunday now get out and go find something fun or interesting to do!

Dr. M